time to smoke my breakfast
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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