Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
