I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
