Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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