I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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