coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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