Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize