Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
