I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
