It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
