Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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