Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
