Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
