Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
FUCK WHALES
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Idk if I want to put a bra on
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
