THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
