my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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