I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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