This is not my ceiling
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
