I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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