the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
