accomplished twins. life is a go
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
