Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
