just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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