im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
