I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
