I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Buhtt sex?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
