He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't think brook has ever known best
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
