Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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