margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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