Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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