i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
