He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
