i just wanna soil my oats bro
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
