i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
