She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
