We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
