I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
