Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
