I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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