you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
