i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
