So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
