He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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