Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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