try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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