If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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