just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's never too late to be topless.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
