He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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