I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
