so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I currently don't understand fingers.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
