So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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