Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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