D3 body, D1 cock
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Randomize
