Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
