I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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