I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
