Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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