btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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