Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
