Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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