oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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