my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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