hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I smell stomach acid.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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