The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
