i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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