I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
